Friday, February 7, 2014

35 Shares for 35

I turned 35 a few weeks ago. That number feels so wrong to me because when I think about the past 10 years, it feels like it was just yesterday. In no time, I’ll be forty and it’s so insane to think that one day I will be fifty and sixty years old. And if I make it to and past all of these ages it will be a blessing because tomorrow isn't promised, life isn't guaranteed, so I am happy to have celebrated thirty-five years of living!

In honor of my thirty-five years, I have thirty-five random shares from my crazy life.

1. I look the same as I did when I was 25, as do most of my friends. It’s awesome and something I hope to be able to pull off in the 10 years to come. Whenever I see someone who is my age or younger, I always wonder what kind of life trauma they must have endured to look as old as they do, because more times than not, I ALWAYS look younger than them. And it surely isn't because I've had an easy life leaving me with less worries - therefore less wrinkles, because my 35 years certainly haven’t been easy.

2. Although I look the same as I did 10 years ago, I now need makeup. My 25 year old skin was luminous and moist even without the help of facial moisturizers; especially in the summer. People would ask me what makeup I wore when all I had on was a natural layer of my very own glisten (aka oil). Now, I need to work at getting the appearance of luminosity that I had 10 years ago. I can’t believe I’m saying this, because I have been anti-makeup for years, but makeup has become one of my BEST FRIENDS.

3. I’m obsessed:

a) With personalized items. I must buy anything that has the letter “L” imprinted, painted or sewn onto it.

b) With my home. I don’t have the money or the handyman help to do what I would like with my home, but I am obsessed with collecting ideas that will one day make my home into the home of my dreams.

c) With buying things for my cat. She has no idea that she has a set of bowls that match the d├ęcor of the kitchen, but when I saw the bowls (All three sets of bowls. She has a clumsy mom), I just knew that she had to have them.

d) With lotion. Face lotion, eye lotion, body lotion, hand lotion and foot lotion. Does deep conditioner count as a lotion?

e) With Lysol wipes.

4. I’m getting better at letting people go. People grow apart and that’s okay. I no longer have the energy for things I used to tolerate.

5. Sometimes I fantasize about what life would have been like had I not had to become an adult as early as I did. But then, I wouldn't be the woman I am and I love her, so scratch that.

6. I still find it weird when I refer to myself as a woman.

7. Being independent is awesome, but it isn't all it’s cracked up to be because people always think you ‘got this’ when in reality you could use a little help. Maybe I need to stop acting like I ‘got this’ and allow people to help me.

8. Would I enjoy coming to work as much if I didn't like the people I work with?

9. The Roomba has changed my life for-ever!

10. I fantasize about owning my own business; a bookstore / coffee shop with a kid friendly section including wooden toys, children’s books, and a nice rug that I bought from IKEA and free wifi for the grownups. I’d host weekly book club nights, knitting nights, wine tasting nights… but how do you get something like this off the ground without going broke first? Me and broke don’t go so well together.

11. I wanted to be a mom by the time I was 35, and I was, but it was very short lived. Although I would prefer for my baby to be with me, God has my baby. Pregnancy was the most joyous, miraculous, special experience and I’m so honored to have experienced it. I just wish things would have ended differently. I've experienced and overcome many obstacles in my life, but losing a baby undid my togetherness and changed me forever.

12. People. I don’t like them. Sometimes I want to shank them. But I won’t because I’m too cute to go to jail and eating vagina just isn't my thing.

13. I appreciate having a best friend. One who has lived the past twenty-five years with me. The word ‘best friend’ doesn't even come close to defining our relationship because we are sisters through and through. Everyone isn't fortunate enough to experience this type of relationship. I've struggled with the term best friend over the years because I have lots of best friends, and because my best friend has, at times, made me want to strangle her and she me (although I doubt it; wink). No relationship is ever perfect. But we’ve matured and we've learned to accept each other. Although at times she is, she has no reason to be jealous of my other best-friendships, because there isn't anyone else on the planet (besides my mother) who has shared so many years of history and paralleled their lives with me.

14. I would love to write for a living. I have lots of characters and story lines roaming around in my head, yet to be released onto paper. But writing doesn't pay the bills and I’m a fancy girl, who likes to have fancy things. And fancy things cost money.

15. I love food. I think about food on my way to work, on my way home from work, when I’m at the hair salon, when I’m sitting on my couch watching television. I’m constantly thinking about the meals I am going to cook and how good they’re going to taste when I’m eating them. Before going to a restaurant, I sometimes salivate over the menu and get excited about what I’m going to eat before I get there.

16. I have many amazing older friends. They are actually the ones who have less judgment and more compassion than any of the friends my own age.

17. I’m impressed with how my selection of wines has developed. Thank. You. Beatrice.

18. The people in my life think I’m nicer than I am. They have this weird idea that I like to help others, and I do, but sometimes when I do help, it becomes expected and then I don’t want to help anymore and people get angry. They have a hard time accepting that Louise doesn't do anything that Louise doesn't want to do.

19. I hope to own a home soon. If I had saved all of the money I've spent on clothing that I've given away I would probably own my own home by now.

20. Real adults drink water and eat servings of fruits and vegetables. And I am working on it.

21. I've had the same glasses /contact prescription for the past 10+ years… maybe, just maybe it’s time to get a new prescription.

22. A quote from my friend, Clarissa: “If there was a degree in television watching, I would have a PhD.” Ditto, Clarissa. Dit-to!

23. Scary movie trailers. I rebuke you.

24. People think that they would enjoy living with me because I am responsible and I know my boundaries. In reality, the only people who would enjoy living with me are those who are using my vagina; either for pleasure or to come into the world. Also, please refer to line # 12.

25. I wish I could think before I speak when I’m angry. I frequently say things that I shouldn’t and my use of the F word is unladylike and disrespectful.

26. On the other hand, I wish I said what needed to be said, at the time it needed to be said so that people understood where the fuck I stand.

27. I’m a semi-private person. I’m private with things I should share and I share too much of the things I should keep private. (Shrug) Whatever.

28. “Good things happen to good people.” This philosophy has fucked up my expectations and sense of reality. In real life, things happen. Period.

29. If you don’t like to have sex with your husband, get a new one or take a class. Life is too short. (I’m kidding, don’t get a new husband… but take the class and touch each other inappropriately afterwards.)

30. I hate that I love all of the Real Housewife reality shows. It’s embarrassing, but I can’t wait to watch them.

31. A smile and some cleavage can get you things if you use them in conjunction with each other.

32. I don’t think of myself as a risk taker, but I've taken plenty of risks to get to where I am.

33. Last week, a very awesome dude took me to my first concert ever: The Red Hot Chili Peppers. I literally almost cried when they sang Under the Bridge. I touched him inappropriately afterwards.

34. Although you don’t hear so much about bedbugs on the news anymore, my phobia still lives. I know they are still out there because America didn't do enough to eradicate them.

35. Life is AMAZING and it’s been made amazing by the awesome people who have shared it with me. I always end everything the same way because I have to. What is life if you don’t have anyone to share it with? And I've had some of the best human beings to ever walk the planet as my friends, family and lover. I am a very lucky ‘woman’. I can’t wait to see what the next 35 years has in store for us! Some of us will have walkers, arthritis and dentures by then, but getting old isn't what it used to be so let’s try to do this with style! Here’s to the next 35!

~Louise C.

Follow me on Twitter @ LouiseCazley