Friday, September 30, 2011

What’s Your Number…?

A few months ago I read an article in Marie Claire titled ‘What’s Your Number?’. One of the women featured in the article, whose number was 100, stated that she wouldn’t want to date a man who had a lower number than hers for fear that he would be inexperienced.

I am not a man with a low number of sexual partners so I don’t know why I felt offended by her statement. I felt so offended that I emailed Marie Claire’s editor with my response to that woman’s statement.

Dear Marie Claire,

I had a comment about the young lady who was featured in your article ‘What’s Your Number’. She stated that she would be turned off by a man who had a lower number and would view him as inexperienced. I was turned off by her comment. Men who sleep around and have high numbers do not necessarily make better lovers. Men who have lower numbers, can still be great, amazing lovers. They may have a low number because they have been in long relationships and I would trust that they have more experience focusing on what a woman needs. Men with lower ‘numbers’ are more attentive and more doting. I am turned off by men like those on ‘The Jersey Shore’ who have a Wham-Bam-Thank-You-Ma’am attitude. I would bet my last dollar that none of the women who leave that shore house are sexually satisfied. Those types of men are just out to ‘get it in’ for the night. I can’t speak for all men, but for me, a higher number is a turn off and does not mean that he is experienced.

Thank you.


He-he, I am such a dweeb.

I think part of the reason I felt so strongly is because sex isn’t sacred anymore. It’s become such a casual thing and I think people (both men and women) are losing respect for each other and for themselves.

Sex isn’t something men have to wait for or work hard to get anymore and from the way I see women behaving lately, we could give street walkers a run for their money; only we aren’t getting paid. I know that’s a little harsh to say, but we have all become so ‘easy’. Sex has become something that is expected after two or three outings with a mere stranger. Or even after chatting at a bar for a few hours. People may or may not know each other’s last names, but they are okay with sharing their bodies in the most intimate way. Maybe I’m just too much of a prude, but I personally couldn’t bring myself to thrust my pelvis with someone I’ve only known for a few hours or days, to then thrust with someone new in the next week. Emotionally, I just couldn’t share myself with that many men. I just don’t feel like that many men should be allowed to see and touch all of this…

I may need to loosen up and change with the times, but I don’t want to. I’m okay with the fact that not too many trains have entered this station or that I only thrust with people that I love… or plan on loving.

I know that there is this sexual revolution taking place where it’s becoming more acceptable for women to sleep around as much as men do. But honestly are women really built this way? I have friends on both sides of the fence. The thrusters and the prudes. The thrusters can disconnect and say ‘it’s just sex’, and more power to them. I live vicariously through them; but as far as women go, I just don’t believe it. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but I’ve seen that oxytocin kick in like a motha-jumpa. Women want to bond, we want to connect and we want to be in relationships.

I’m not a part of the dating world, but I know for a fact that women like me are becoming the minority. Do men think the same way as the woman featured in the Marie Claire article? Would they think that I’m inexperienced in the boudoir because my number isn’t up to par??

Either way, I stand by what I said in my letter. Having a higher number of sexual partners doesn’t necessarily make you a better thruster. In my opinion, the people with the most experience are the ones who have been in longer relationships because they have someone to practice (and experiment) with on an ongoing basis. And since when did sex become something academic? There shouldn’t be a manual or a degree you need to obtain. Just take your clothes off and do what comes natural. And do it often. (wink)

~Louise C.

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