Honoring All Fathers this Father's Day

I dedicate this blog to: Dwight S., Florent D., Ed O., Donnell W.

~ Thank you for the part you have played in my life. It means the world to me.

When I was sixteen a man from church became infatuated with my mother. I don't know whether she liked him back or not; I'm going to say she did because my mom doesn't keep company with people she doesn't like. We (my mom, brothers and I) spent months hanging out with him and I became very attached to him; which isn’t saying much because I become attached to anyone who is good to me.

Although this man had no reason to, he treated me like I was his very own daughter and I wished and hoped that he and my mom would get married because he had the magical ability to make the giant stick that was lodged in her booty disappear.

He was silly and kooky so put a smile on all of our faces. He was a little rough around the edges and not cut from the same cloth as most Christians which is probably why I liked him.

He was inappropriate in a decent way. For example, there was an issue which I couldn’t discuss with my mom because she wasn’t the easiest person to approach and I found it hard to talk about certain topics with her. Something was wrong with me and it needed fixing. Because my face is so easy to read, he read the worry on it and after prying the issue out of me, he forced me to go with him the pharmacy and fixed what was wrong.

Another thing I loved about him was that he was just a regular down to earth guy. For example, some Christians won’t go to the movies because in a sense, you become what you fill your mind with. Most of what is in the movies isn’t made for prudes, but he enjoyed movies so he went often and he would take me with him. He even took me to see The Craft (a movie about four witches doing lots of witchcraft; and although I can’t understand why, The Craft is one of my favorite movies). A movie like The Craft goes against everything Christianity stands for. I don’t think he knew what the movie was about before seeing it though, because halfway through, he leaned over and whispered, while shaking his head at me, “I can’t believe you have me in here watching this!!” He had his limits though, because when I tried to get him to take me to see Evita he drew the line saying, “I am not watching ANYTHING with that woman in it.” Not a huge Madonna fan!

He only spent time with me when my mom was busy with one church activity or another and when she was done he would be there waiting to take her coffee or to Barnes and Noble on 68th Street or wherever it was that she wanted to go.

One day a concerned woman from church pulled me aside to warn me that it wasn’t safe to be spending so much time alone with a man. From the outside looking in it was odd that a white man in his forties would be hanging out with a black girl in her teens. But he wanted absolutely nothing to do with me in that way. He really only had eyes for my mother.

My teen years were dark, but during the time this man was with us, he brought so much light into all of our lives. He treated me to so many good things and for that short time he made me and my family very happy.

Eventually he stopped spending as much time with my mom because, in his words, ‘he didn't think she was interested in the type of relationship that he was interested in.’

In a big church, people come and go and come back, so when I didn't see him as much I thought nothing of it. From time to time, he would cross my mind and as the years passed I always meant to ask my mom if she still heard from him. He really had no idea how much he meant to me and I always wanted to thank him for all he had done for me. One day I finally remembered to ask my mom if they still kept in touch and was shocked to learn that he had passed away. I try not to take things for granted, so I’m really sorry that I never got the chance to thank him for the way he treated me and for all that he gave me. Because he had his own children, he didn’t have to do anything for me, but I am so grateful for everything that he did.

I didn’t grow up with my father in my life and honestly I didn’t miss the presence of a dad because only having my mom was all I knew. But through the years I have been blessed to have many good men in my life who have been great father figures and big brothers to me.

So today I would like to honor the fathers, the men who aren’t biological fathers, but spiritual fathers; and also the single mothers who do the job of both parents.

Happy Father’s Day to you!

PS: To those I dedicated this blog to. It’s funny that you say I have no black friends, when each and every single one of you is one of my “black friends”. Please stop racially judging me :-). Loving you!

~Louise C.

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Committing to Shaping up my Shape

Exercise has never been a huge part of my life. It’s something that I think about quite often and there have even been a few occasions when I have actually worked out, but my work out stints have always been a short lived.

Growing up, my mom wasn’t much of an example because the woman never worked out a day in her life and had the nerve to look like she did. I’ll never forget how she looked when she left the hospital after giving birth to my brother. She didn’t even look like she’d just had a baby! She is very active and she eats healthy, but she never committed to a workout regimen. Due to good genes, she never really had to think about it.

I’m thankful that I inherited healthy eating habits from my mom because that is one less thing that I need to change about my life to make my body better, but I’m not an active person at all.

The closest I have gotten to a continuous workout regimen was when I used to attend dance classes. Dance is a full body workout, but I never looked at it that way because I was having so much fun and the time when by so quickly.

There was also one summer when I went bike riding in Central Park every weekend. I didn’t consider this working out because I was only riding once a week. I looked great that summer, though; and my thigh muscles were strong like bull!

I’m very short so I need to keep my weight under 130lbs. The second the scale even nears 130 I begin to panic. I’ve weighed 137lbs before and I didn’t feel good about myself because, for a small person like me, it’s too much. I promised myself that it would never happen again and I have been able to deliver on that promise by changing my eating habits. Too many Restaurant Picks and not enough home cooked meals is no good for maintaining.

Because I love to walk, I try not to take the train when the weather is nice if my destination is in walking distance. So on one of those nice days last week, I decided to walk to one of my restaurant picks because I had an hour to kill.

It was a great 2.2 mile walk and I asked myself why I wasn’t doing this more often. Especially since I have no excuse.

A few years ago I got caught up in one of those Bowflex infomercials which influenced me to buy a treadmill. (The Booty Slide is another infomercial that almost got me). My intention for the treadmill was a 20-30 minute daily walk/run to burn some calories and help me to stay in shape. I’ve used the treadmill sporadically, but never on a consistent basis.

Although I don’t work out at all, I do fantasize about it just about everyday. Fantasizing will not help me get into shape, so I decided that in April I would begin working out… Psych! Yesterday was the first time I finally, FINALLY put on my workout gear, unfolded and dusted off the treadmill. There was A LOT of dust on it.

I’m embarrassed to say that it’s been so long since I’ve used the treadmill that I couldn’t remember where the on switch was and it took me 10 minutes to find it. So sad.

My treadmill is preprogrammed with six 30 minute workout sessions (another reason why I have no excuse not to be working out). I chose the easiest one which consisted of a five minute warm up at 2mph. The speed then increases to 3mph and then 3.5mph. The incline rises and falls at levels 3, 4 and 5 about every minute throughout the workout and then cools down.

During the first five minutes of the workout I asked myself why I wasn’t doing this every day, but with 13 minutes left on the clock, it got difficult and I wanted to call it quits. Walking the incline on level 5 at 3.5mph was tough for me, but Daisy and Melissa could probably do this workout in their sleep.

I had the nerve to have my cell phone on the dashboard of the treadmill thinking that I would actually have a conversation while I was on there. I wasn’t out of breath, but there was definitely no breath left for talking.

Although I really wanted to hit the stop button, I didn’t. I toughed it out and I plan on toughing at least three times a week. I want to say that this will be something I do everyday, but I just need to be real with myself. I’ll aim for everyday, but I plan on working out no fewer than three times a week. Three times a week is definitely something I can do.

My goal is to make exercise a part of my life so that it’s not just something I do to get in shape for the summer. Eventually, I want to be in shape everyday and all year. The only way that’s going to happen is if I make a real commitment to myself. My track record hasn’t been so good, but some of my pants are getting snug so not working out is not an option.

To shaping up my shape!

~Louise C.

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Summer's Coming!!

It was close to 9pm when I walked home last night and it was STILL light out. Summer is coming! I yeay!

As summer approaches I begin to feel a restless spark, which eventually becomes a full on burning desire to go on vacation. This happens to me every year on the first day that the temperature rises above 80 degrees.

I really don't understand why I can't sit my ass here in NY, one of the greatest cities in the world, like normal people and be happy and satisfied. No, I always seem to want more.

Growing up I was poor so there were no elaborate vacations. What gave me the travel bug and spoiled me for life were a series of trips with my church which took place every couple of months. In the winter I went skiing and in the summer I stayed at cabins in the Pocono’s or spent the nights or weekends at someone’s house who had pools or beaches in their back yards. I was poor but I lived a rich life, which gave me a rich mentality for rich dreams. And although I still don't have the money to live out my rich dreams, a girl can surely try.

Although I’ve never had to spend this much, my spending limit for vacation (including flight and hotel) is usually $1000 and under; but this year I just can't spend that type of money. I’m trying to save so that I can live out another of my high life dreams, so my limit has to be $3-400. Amazingly you can find some great vacation packages in this budget, but the problem is that everyone is also trying to save so there is no one to travel with. Waaah!! And although I had a fantastic solo vacation in Puerto Rico last year, if I could I would rather travel with someone this year.

I have Edward, but his feet are buried and cemented so deeply in the sidewalks of New York that it takes a lot of energy and a jack hammer to get him out. I just don’t have the patience for that type of reluctance. We both hate flying (HATE IT!!), but he does not share my zeal for exploring the unknown. My zeal is what propels me to take my shaky feet and put them on a plane.

Either way, vacation or staycation, I’m thrilled that summer is on its way!!

One of my favorite places to visit in the summer is the beach, but after I experienced beaches where you can see your feet in the water, I lost interest in NYC beaches. When I think of the beaches in New York the words, dirty and ghetto come to mind. I won’t even bother to share some of the things that I have seen wash ashore and right over my feet as I stood in the water.

I have heard that there are nice beaches in Long Island like Robert Moses, Fire Island and Montauk beaches, so maybe I’ll make my way to one of them this summer.

Central Park is also one of my favorite places to visit. I used to have at least two picnics in Sheep’s Meadow every summer, but I didn’t last summer. I don’t know why I fell off, but I am way overdue so there will be at least one picnic this year.

I’m really excited that New York will be implementing bike share stations. Because I don’t want to clutter my apartment with a bike, when I go bike riding I always rent one from those vendors outside of Central Park. It sounds like the bike share will be the more cost effective way to rent so I plan on taking full advantage. Great Hill, here I come… out of breath, shaky legs and all.

I love visiting with my homies, especially homies who live in far away places because it’s like going on a mini vacation. The best thing about this is that I have great friends who actually treat me like a guest so I never have to lift a finger. I plan to visit Chateau Quackenbush (which is the house of a friend of mine who lives in New Jersey. Not very far away, but mentally, I’m away) Visiting Chateau Quackenbush is like going on a spa vacation. Casa de la Torres is another up and coming friendly retreat which I also plan on visiting often.

We all know how much I love a restaurant and because of outdoor seating, I am looking forward to summer dining with my homies.

My birthday is in the winter so I live vicariously through friends with summer birthdays. Dais and Bea and Jude, make it a good one, okay? Because your birthdays are all about me… if you didn’t know, now you do.

I love street fairs, and wine tours, visits to Spa Castle and weekend getaways… Listing all of the things I love about the summer is just a way for me to talk myself into staying local and continuing to save my money. But because I’m so antsy, I may break down and book a tropical vacation… soon. I just can’t help myself.

What makes summer fun for you? Whatever it is, make it a great one!

~Louise C.

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Danfredo Photography

A few months ago I had a boudoir photo shoot with the fabulous and talented Danielle of Danfredo Rivera. Due to the overwhelming amount of sexiness radiating from these photos (cause I am that sexy; wink) I felt a little squeamish about sharing them. But I HAVE TO promote her so here are a few of the safe photos:

I was amazed at the outcome because I really didn't expect to look as amazing as I did.

Danielle is not limited to boudoir photography; she also does family portraits, weddings, engagement, maternity, newborn…and just about any other type of photography you can imagine. See her flyer: 

I know I will DEFINITELY be requesting her services in the future, and until then, it would only be right to recommend her to everyone I know. 

Contact her!

Email: danfredophotography@gmail.com 

Phone: 646.470.7734

See more of Danfredo Photography  HERE. 

Enoy! 

~Louise C. 

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Louise’s Restaurant Picks – Pio Pio

My fourteenth featured Restaurant Pick is Pio Pio.

There are a few locations, but the location on 34^th Street is the one I frequent the most:

210 East 34^th Street

(Between 2^nd and 3^rd Avenues)

New York, NY 10016

http://piopio.com/

Cuisine: Peruvian

Pio Pio was introduced to me by a friend who shared my devotion to eating, drinking and being merry. She and I spent many Friday nights sipping Pio Pio sangria and talking about naughty things that made explode into alcohol induced laughter. Good times!

Until I visited Pio Pio last night, I’d forgotten just how tasty and savory their food is. Flavorful, moist rotisserie chicken, rice and beans, tostones with a mouth watering garlic sauce for dipping, French fries and sausages… Mmmm. I’ll let you see for yourselves.

And you have to (HAVE TO) try their green sauce. My tongue, my stomach and I can’t wait for our next visit!

Visit their website for more of their menu options.

Enjoy and until next time, happy eating!

~Louise C.

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Photos from piopio.com

I am Antisocial on the Networks

As far as my dedication to social networks go, MySpace got the best of me. I was younger and more involved with the social networking world back then, but today I just have a hard time maintaining my presence on social networks. I mean I'm not old yet, but I feel myself slipping away the way older people do who call Facebook ‘The Facebook’ or, as one of my friends likes to call it, ‘The Face Page’.

I just don't keep up with my page and status updates the way most people do. I don't post very often unless it has something to do with my blog, and I never really upload any recent pictures of myself or share any of my activities. Most of the photos in my profile were tagged by one of my friends and I don’t feel like sharing my every move. I just feel like I am already sharing enough of my life with my writing I don't need to give more away to the internet.

Last night I decided to take a look at the pages of some of my Facebook friends and even the most antisocial friend had more friends and more frequent status updates than I did. It became very clear that I as far as the social networking world goes, I am no longer in the cool crowd. But it's not too late for me, so I'm going to try harder to be a little more present. I just don’t have it in me to be a slave to the internet the way I used to be, but I will try.

Part of the reason I haven’t been as ‘on’ is because I spent the past year or two writing and I didn’t get to read as many books as I wanted to. I don’t read while I’m writing because I don’t want to subconsciously steal a story idea from another book and get my ass sued. So now that I have that chance I’m going to catch up on as many books as I possibly can before I buckle down and finish my next book.

I just finished The Hunger Games…LOVED IT! And am currently reading Catching Fire… so addicting!

But anyway, as I said, I’m going to try and make the effort to be more present. Even though I don’t know why, it seems important that I do.

To upgrading my social networking etiquette!

~Louise C.

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Falling into Place (e-Book)

My first book, Falling into Place, is now available to download on Amazon Kindle, B&N Nook and any other e-Book downloading device that is available nowadays.

I began writing Falling into Place when I was twenty-two years old. Sitting on the steps of St. Bartholomew Church on Park Avenue, I spent my lunch hour writing random stories and poems not realizing that they all became chapters that, when stacked in the correct order, created a book.

At the time I didn’t have as many connections with wonderful people as I do today so the production process wasn’t as fantastic as it was with Undies in a Bunch. I didn’t have T.Zap to create an awesome book cover and I didn’t have Edward to read and reread and reread and reread and give his constructive criticism as he did for me with UIAB so there are errors. Nevertheless, I learned from the errors and the production process which helped UIAB become all that it is.

About the book:

Falling into Place is a coming of age novel depicting the deterioration of a mother–daughter relationship. In Falling into Place, Leila, the main character, struggles to rebuild herself, forgive and end the cycle that has plagued her broken family from one generation to another.

About me and the book:

Falling into Place is tooootally based on my life. My teen years were a very dark period and to write this book, I had to go back and visit those dark days to make the story feel current as I was telling it to you.

Life as a teenager is confusing enough with its roller coaster of emotions, but when you don’t receive the love and support that you need in those formative years, life can be cold and isolating.

I wrote Falling into Place partially for those in situations that might seem hopeless. I wanted to let them know that abuse doesn’t always look the way people expect it to look. Abuse isn’t always physical. Abuse is mind-twisting, emotional, verbal and painful. Abuse is egotistical, prideful, dark and ugly. Abuse cannot always be seen, but it is always stabbingly penetrating. And its effects can linger and linger and linger…

Because I was so young at the time, some people didn’t believe me when I told them what I was going through. They just assumed I was a typical teenager in my rebellious stage; but I was a good kid trying to make the best out of what seemed like an impossible situation. Sometimes the only way I could get a sliver of freedom; of release was to tell lies. I am not a liar, but I would lie just so that I could have a free moment to myself and so that I didn’t have to go home. I would sometimes sit in the staircase of my building, a few floors above my apartment, because I didn’t want to go home. Home should be your comfort and your safe haven, but that was the last place I wanted to be.

When I turned nineteen, I’d finally had enough. I packed up and left even though I didn’t know where I was going or what I was going to do. I just knew that the life I was living wasn’t normal. I was on a lock-down so intense that it left no room for me to breathe and I was tired of getting slapped around.

It was a scary, scary time; and although some of my friends didn’t believe me, or didn’t understand the extent to which my home life had gotten, they still rallied around to help me. If it wasn’t for them and for other angels who fell into my life, offering me shoulders, ears, hugs, laughter and opportunities, I don’t know what I would have done.

(deep breath to clear the choking-up-ness)

The reason I got out of that situation was because I knew that the way I lived, was no way for anyone to live. There are some cats and dogs who were treated better than the way I was treated at that time. BUT on the flip side, I am the woman I am today because of what I went through. I am a strong, compassionate, loving, decent person who has a lot of fight in her.

I’m actually a little scared to post this because no one ever wants to say bad things about their family. My family contains good people, but sometimes, there are behaviors that take place which I don’t understand and cannot agree with. My biggest hope is that the cycle ends and doesn’t trickle down into yet another generation.

I’d like to give a big thank you to those who supported, encouraged and had faith in me when Falling into Place was born.  

~Louise C.

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