Tuesday, March 20, 2012


In the heaven in my dreams,
there is a mansion surrounded by lawns, vast, wide and lush with green
and sing-song chirping notes falling with the breeze.
In this mansion, there is a sun absorbing balcony
reserved for laughter, peace, wine and decedent delicacies
that dance on the palette
and flavor the soul.
In the heaven in my dreams,
there are dances on beaches loose, wild and free.
Sore muscles in the stomach and the cheeks
from the overflow of giddiness in play.
In the heaven in my dreams,
there is love and love and love without fear and caution.
Love only with pure unhinged abandon,
deep fulfilling solace
and over-pouring vein filling warmth.

In the hell in my dreams, there is no rest.
Only searching searching unfulfilled and unending exhaustion.
There are streets of dark emptiness that never supply what is required.
There is sun, burning deep orange with a halo of red.
A dark sun that never sets and offers no relief in the night.
There are beaches, not beautiful,
with dark, wet, clumped sand and trash thrown astray.
Crowded beaches radiating with longing and agony
from no alleviation from the burning sea.
There are masses and masses of people.
But no dancing, no laughter and no peace.
Only fear and unrest.
Tears and sorrow.
Loneliness and yearning.
Even though it is crowded, there is no one who can take the suffering away.


Sometimes in my dreams, I end up in the same place. Sometimes it’s the opposite end of a block I am familiar with, and although it looks different each time, I know it is the same.

In the dreams that inspired the above, I step out of the airport with plans to go to the beach, but I am greeted with chaos. The beach is packed and uninviting and the sun looks all wrong. It’s scary and much too close to the earth.

In another dream I end up near the same beach, (I can see the beach, but I’m a few blocks away). Instead of walking towards the beach, I end up walking on a store front lined street looking for… something. I keep entering stores and leaving and going into another store and while I’m walking it gets dark, but I never turn around to go back to the beach which was where I intended to go in the first place.

In those dreams, the plan is always to go on vacation. I always make it to the destination, but I never make it to relaxation.

My subconscious is definitely tormented.

~Louise C.
Follow me on Twitter @LouiseCazley

1 comment:

  1. Louise I had a dream very similar to the first part of your poem.....I thought it was beautiful and I am hoping I have a repeat of the dream....impossible right...Anyways still trying to figure out the meaning of the dream....because it wad such a beautiful dream.